Deja Vu

DMC, we have a mid-30's male found down, unresponsive
Possible overdose, substance unknown
Pulse is 60 and thready. Respiration's 8
He's intubated, and we're baggin' him now
Uhh, BP: 90 over palp. Patient is cool, pale, and diuretic
Has aspirated, uhh, GSC is 3, We'll update en route, ETA ten minutes
As I, fall deeper into a manic state
I'm a prime candidate for the gene to receive the drug addict trait
Blood pressure climbs at a dramatic rate
I seem to gravitate to the bottle of NyQuil then I salivate
Start off with the NyQuil like "I think I'll just have a taste"
Couple of sips of that, then I gradually graduate
To a harder prescription drug called Valium like "Ya that's great"
I go to just take one and I end up like having eight
Now I need something in my stomach cause I haven't ate
Maybe I'll grab a plate of nachos and I'll have a steak
And you'd think that with all I have at stake
Look at my daughter's face
"Mommy something is wrong with dad I think
He's acting weird again he's really beginning to scare me
Won't shave his beard again and he pretends he doesn't hear me
And all he does is eat Doritos and Cheetos
And he just fell asleep in his car reading Three Musketeers in the rear seat"
Sometimes I feel so alone, I just don't know
Feels like I been down this road before
So lonely and cold, it's like something takes over me
As soon as I go home and close the door
Kinda feels like déjà vu, I wanna get away from this place I do
But I can't, and I won't, say I try, but I know, that's a lie
Cause I don't, and why I just don't know
Maybe just a nice cold brew "What's a beer?"
That's the devil in my ear I been sober a fuckin year
And that fucker still talks to me he's all I can fuckin hear
"Marshall come on we'll watch the game, it's the Cowboys and Buccaneers"
And maybe if I just drink half, I'll be half buzzed for half of the time
Who's the mastermind behind that little line?
With that kind of rationale man I got half a mind
To have another half of glass of wine, sound asinine
Yeah I know, but I never had no problem with alcohol
Ouch look out for the wall, aim for the couch I'm 'bout to fall
I missed the couch and down I go looking like a bouncy ball
Shit must've knocked me out, cause I ain't feel the ground at all
Wow, what the fuck happened last night, where am I?
Man, fuck am I hungover and God damn I
Got a headache, shit half a Vicodin, why can't I?
"All systems ready for take off please stand by"
Sometimes I feel so alone, I just don't know
Feels like I been down this road before
So lonely and cold, it's like something takes over me
As soon as I go home and close the door
Kinda feels like déjà vu, I wanna get away from this place I do
But I can't, and I won't, say I try, but I know, that's a lie
Cause I don't, and why I just don't know
So I take a Vicodin splash it hits my stomach then ahh
Couple of weeks go by it ain't even like I'm getting high
Now I need it just not to feel sick, ya I'm getting by
Wouldn't even be taking this shit if DeShaun didn't die
Oh yeah, there's an excuse, you lose Proof so you use
There's new rules, it's cool if it's helpin you to get through
It's twelve noon, ain't no harm in self inducing a snooze
What else is new? Fuck it what would Elvis do in your shoes?
Now here I am three months later, full blown re-lapse
"Just get high until the kids get home from school Holmes relax"
And since I'm, convinced that I'm an insom-niac
I need these pills to be able to sleep so I take three naps
Just to be able to function throughout the day, let's see
That's an Amb! en each nap, how many Valium, three?
And that will average out to about one good hour's, sleep
Ok so now ya, see, the reason how come, he
Has taken four years to just put out an album, B
See me and you we almost had the same outcome, Heath
Cause that Christmas you know the whole pneumonia, thing
It was baloney was it the methadone ya, think
Or the hydrocordone, you hide inside your pornos
Your VCR tape cases, with you Amb! en CR, great paces to hide 'em ain't it
So you can lie to Hailie, "I'm going beddy bye Whitney baby good night Alaina"
Go in the room and shut the bedroom door, and wake up in an ambulance
They said they found me on the bathroom floor, damn
Sometimes I feel so alone, I just don't know
Feels like I been down this road before
So lonely and cold, it's like something takes over me
As soon as I go home and close the door
Kinda feels like déjà vu, I wanna get away from this place I do
But I can't, and I won't, say I try, but I know, that's a lie
Cause I don't, and why I just don't know